Saturday, September 25, 2010

Her

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'You don't understand! Nobody ever does..
This was what I wanted, what I dreamed of. I shouldn't hate it, but I do! I hate what I am now, what I turned into and most of all I hate myself for being the reason the curse won't let go of me. I thought my life was soo bad it couldn't get worse, it was THE thing that kept me alive, THE thing what I thought of made me breath..
It's a curse, it's deep in my heart now, like a cold stone leaking for blood and shattered souls. I don't want to live anymore if I am like that. Maybe you're right and maybe I'm good for this world, but the world hasn't done me any good. Everyone I love gets killed because of me, and if they don't die they betray me.. It hurts so much it would kill a human and maybe a vampire.. but I'm worse, I can't hide in shadows because they would hunt me.
I'm doomed, that's why i have to die.'

'If she just knew how much I loved her. All the tears she shed fall on my sould and remain unsolved secrets. I would do everything to help her, but how can I help someone who doesn't want be helped?
When I kiss her I feel so right, like everything that hurt me before doesn't matter anymore, like all the pain I have felt was only the torture I had to pay so I would deserve her. If she'd die, I don't know what I would do. I guess I'd die too, it's just that my heart hurts too much when I'm away from her, like I could die any second without her. But being with her is like heaven and hell at the same time, though my heart begs me to see her , the bigger the pain is when I see her cry, what she always does. What can I do?
How can I make her suffer go away if it is my deaths' secret are the same time?
You look at me like I've lost my mind, brother. But no I'm not lying. In the past I haven't been much of a "gentleman" and that is soemthing I am not proud of now. I bet if I had known her the time I turned into what I am now I would have never been like that. She changes me St****, she completes me.'

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